The Grieving Process

I was sitting at the computer, scanning the poems I wanted to include in a proposed manuscript when I suddenly found myself in tears. The poem I had just read tore open the flood gates that I had so expertly closed over a year ago when the first of three of my immediate family died. As quickly as I began to cry, I found my self laughing at the preposterous fact that here I was sobbing over a poem I wrote myself!

As I reflected on the moment, I realized that I was finally allowing the process of grief to run its course. This was a natural and healthy reaction. It would be one that would repeat, but this was OK.

There are hundreds of sites dedicated to helping people understand the grieving process. Most of them agree that there are five distinct stages:

  1. Denial and Isolation,
  2. Anger,
  3. Bargaining,
  4. Depression, and
  5. Acceptance
No two people grieve at the same pace or experience all of the stages at the same time. It is imperative to understand that grief is a process, not a firm, solid, unmoving rule of behavior.

For me, I immediately found myself in Denial with the death of my brother and father. "I can't believe it," where the words that tumbled from my mind. Isolation, Anger, and Bargaining did not seem to be part of my process. I think I replaced them with Gratitude that finally my loved ones would not longer suffer this life's agonies. However, Depression did rear its head for a bit but, that too is now past. Acceptance is settling in nicely. It is a peace-filled place to dwell.

Learning to flow through the stages of grief is really a Life Skill. Grief comes for multiple reasons, not simply through death. We grieve the loss of jobs, relationships, pets, ideals, dreams. Life is about learning to let go; letting go is about learning to grieve; and grieving is about learning to Live!

"Loss is nothing but change; and change is Nature's delight" Marcus Aurelius

"The only constant is life is Change." Heraclitus

May your losses be but small pebbles in the stream of Life over which the Peace-filled waters of Hope flow, carrying all pain and burden out into the Sea of Forgiveness.


Anonymous said…
Dear Linda,

Thank you for sharing such beauty and being so courageous to show your vulnerable heart. As you say, grieving is a process and we all have to be gentle with ourselves however long or difficult it is. It is perfect for where we need to be.

Sending you deep peace!
Morning, Miruh!

Thank you for your lovely thoughts. I can feel the peace you send. It wraps around me like a favorite blanket, creating a deep knowing of safety and warmth.

Blessings, always.

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