The Gift of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves...my guest to the blog today, Margaret Norton, shares her thoughts on this subject.  Margaret is a writer, speaker, personal life coach, and It Works! distributor. She is running a blog comment and Twitter contest in February to coordinate with the re-release of her book, When Ties Break, and turning 60! For more information and to enter the contest to win a free life coaching session or copy of her memoir, please see the end of this post.

Words from the Heart. What a wonderful name for a blog! Like Linda, I too am fascinated by words. I’m amazed at how careless we are when speaking to others – especially those we love. The spoken word has the power to help or hurt – all too often it is used to hurt. Relationships are damaged and lives are changed as a result of the words we speak. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Sometimes, all you need to do is offer an apology. But for many individuals, this is as difficult as the thought of donating a kidney. 

   

As we approach Valentine’s Day, reminders of love are everywhere. Love is not always easy, certainly isn’t perfect. I’ve never understood why we mistreat those we love. But, through the years, I’ve learned the importance of forgiveness. This did not come easy for me, but life is much better now that I try to practice the act of forgiveness. These are some of the lessons I’ve learned:

 

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. When you harbor angry feelings against someone it festers inside you like poison. Many times the other person never admits any wrong doing or never asks for forgiveness. People react differently to hurt and some wrongs are more painful than others. It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong – people are entitled to their feelings.  

Not forgiving someone prevents you from having a fulfilling relationship with them. You might feel like you are getting them back by not forgiving but you are only hurting yourself. For the Christian, forgiveness is expected. Christ said we are to love our enemies and forgive those who mistreat us. We are to forgive someone not seven times but seventy-seven times.

 

We should always try to forgive others but forgetting is extremely difficult. We can forgive the people who hurt us the deepest but often events trigger our memories. That’s normal. The memory is not a reason to remind them of how bad they hurt us, but rather a reminder to us to set boundaries. We should forgive those who mistreat us but not allow them to continue hurting us. You can learn to forgive others, while keeping them at a safe distance. Forgiveness is never easy, but it is a behavior we can cultivate and it is always worth the effort.

• People don’t always deserve forgiveness
• People don’t usually ask for our forgiveness
• We can’t continue blaming our parents or others for our problems
• We must take responsibility for our own lives
• Forgiveness is the ultimate gift we give someone else, yet it benefits us the most
• Forgiveness is not a license for bad/abusive behavior to continue
• We must learn to set boundaries to prevent others from hurting us
• For the Christian, forgiveness is not an option, it is a command

 

Leave a comment on this post to enter into Margaret’s Celebrate 60 Blog Tour Contest. Margaret is celebrating her 60th birthday by giving away three grand prizes: a 30-minute FREE life coaching session (by phone—for U.S. residents only), her memoir in paperback (for U.S. residents only), and her memoir in e-book (for anyone!) format. 

Each blogger participating in the tour will randomly select one winner from all the comments and enter that name into the grand prize drawing. Margaret will contact the three grand prize winners for their choice of prize the week of 2/27 and announce winners on her blog on March 2. 

***For extra entries into the contest, please tweet about the contest, using the hashtag #Celebrate60 OR tweet about why you love being the age you are! (Don’t forget to use the hashtag.) Anyone who tweets with #Celebrate60 will get an extra entry into the contest for the three grand prizes. Any questions? E-mail Margo, Margaret’s publicist, at margo@margodill.com