Words from the Heart

The ability to say, "No," is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.  Too often, we become overwhelmed in life because we fear that agreeing to do something for others is expected and if we decline, then we have somehow done something wrong. This kind of thinking leads us to become resentful, exhausted and sick. Trust me, this is not an easy lesson to learn.  I didn't become good at it until well after I turned 50 and I still have to remind myself that it is OK to let go.  Recently, I had to let go of several duties I had taken on.  They were duties I had enjoyed, but, had now become burdensome when coupled with responsibilities at home and work as well as battling Epstein Barre virus. I knew in order to get back on my feet, I needed to give up some of what I was doing. Letting go, saying no, making wise choices about how to use what energy and resources you have is difficult, but you can get the hang of it with practice.   As we get close...

This year, the combination of rainy evenings and warm sunny days has created a rainforest effect in my garden.  The lushness of the green immediately soothes me on hectic days.  The sound of water running into our tiny pond, where frogs serenade us in the early evening, melts away the stress of hectic days. I must admit, I am having a difficult time keeping up with the weeding this year.  With all the warmth and rain, it seems things grow overnight.  But, there is a good side to this.  Weeding is meditative.   What amazes me, is that I can feel all stressed because I need to finish this or that, but, if I give myself permission to go weed for a bit, I find that my mind empties, leaving me with space to see what I need to do and how to do it.   In addition, I have come to realize that having a garden - planting, harvesting, weeding, and pruning - connects me with the seasons and the various phases of the moon.  Being connected to N...

Dolphin and baby (Photo credit: WIlly Volk ) Ever since Yale professor, Amy Chua rocked the parenting world with her book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" (Penguin Press, 2011), I have heard bits and piece about this authoritarian, adamant doggedness for perfection in academics.  At first, I had no frame of reference.  I had never met parents who are so strict on their insistence that their children make perfect grades and excel in everything that the children were suffering from stress-related illnesses.   Don't get me wrong, when I was raising my kids there were parents who pushed their kids to excel, but not so much in academics.  Mostly, the push was for being a star in whatever sport the child played.  A few wanted their child to be the star of the concert/play/orchestra, but that was it.   Recently, I have come face-to-face with tiger parenting.  My first reaction was, "Oh my goodness, don't you realize what you are doing to thi...