Start Where You Are: Interview with Kim Lloyd

I am so happy to share an interview with one of my favorite people who has just published a new book.  Kim Lloyd! 

I met Kim virtually through my daughter, Courtney.  Her positive attitude, compassion and enthusiasm resonated with me.  When I learned about her book, Start Where You Are: A beginner's guide to lifting weights and feeling great, I knew I wanted to share it with my readers.

Let the interview begin!

Welcome, Kim! Before we delve into the book, could you tell the readers a bit about how you got where you are today? 

Thank you Linda! And thank you so much for inviting me to share on your page. 

Author Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) has an incredible talk about not following your passion, but following your curiosity. Though I didn't recognize it at the time, I spent my twenties and thirties doing exactly that. I wrote for a newspaper, coached college sports, freelanced as a photographer, and worked more than my fair share of odd jobs. (Hosing hard boiled eggs out of fake kale as a salad bar attendant being one of the oddest...) 

Eventually, through a combination of circumstance and interest, I found my way to personal training and that's where I've been since 2015. 

So I've kind of taken the long way home, if you will, when it comes to my career. 

The title of your book, "Start Where you Are" is great advice all by itself. What prompted you to write about it? 

I have learned a great deal from Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, who has a book by the same title. I think one of the most difficult parts of adopting a fitness routine (or making any change) is getting started. We tend to kick the can down the road and wait until tomorrow or Monday or next month to take the first step. 

Starting is the hardest part. I love the advice of starting where you are because it's a gentle reminder that you don't need to be anything or anyone different than who you are to make that first move. 

I know you from both the work you do at Spurling Fitness in Kennebunk, ME and your own Kim Lloyd Fitness Newsletters. One thing I have seen over and over is your sense of humor. How has humor helped you, personally? Do you think humor is a tool for everyone? Why? 

I come from a long line of dry British humor - my dad - his siblings - my brothers and cousins. And my mom too. Growing up though, it was my dad's sister Juanita that I learned the most from. She'd had a tough life in many, many ways. She'd almost died during surgery as a kid, had brain surgery, and confronted a number of other personal tragedies in her life. But I don't think I ever met anyone who could put a humorous spin on a situation faster than her. 

In the 2020 New York Times best seller "Burnout" by Emily and Amelia Negoski, they identify both exercising AND laughing as strategies to help your body unlock the stress cycle. 

So while I know that finding the humor in a situation isn't necessarily a go-to strategy for everyone, it has certainly helped me manage some dark times in my life over the years. And without a doubt, I always feel better when I can laugh. 

Your book is about weightlifting and women. What is the biggest myth that we have about women and weightlifting? 

There are many, but I think there is a myth perpetuated by the media that women either should, or are only capable of, lifting small weights. Even a quick glance at fitness stock photos on websites shows women with 3 and 5lb weights and men with heavier ones. In reality, women are slinging around diaper bags, multiple kids, all of the items that go with multiple kids, briefcases...I mean you name it and women are carrying it around. 

I think that myth of only lifting small weights also contributes to the fear that if we do move more than a few light dumbbells, we are in danger of bulking up. The truth is that most women don't produce enough testosterone to look like a Bruce Banner experiment gone wrong. So lifting weights will not make you bulky. 

How does weightlifting help women and is there an age limit (how young and/or how old)? 

So many ways! All of the things! And it is never, never, ever too late to start lifting weights (or doing anything new). 

On the one side of the age spectrum, I worked with a 70-year-old client who broke her leg (outside of the gym) a little over a year into her consistent training. She made a very quick recovery, and her doctor attributed that quick recovery to her strength training routine. And if you're looking for inspiration, one of the best stories out there is Joan MacDonald (search "Train with Joan") who made an incredible transformation at 70 years old. On the other side of the spectrum, I've introduced both my 10 year old niece and 8 year old nephew to strength training - but at that age the goal is very different. Their attention spans are pretty short at that age, so I just want them to move and have a ton of fun doing it. My hope is that by having a positive experience now that the idea of strength training and exercising will feel less scary and intimidating later. 

In terms of how lifting weights helps women - there is the physical part - we know that women are prone to osteopenia and osteoporosis as they age and strength training helps strengthen the bones and also to maintain muscle tone. 

But there's also the often unexpected benefit of empowerment that women feel that translates to empowerment outside of the weight room. Women realize that they have the strength to move weights and perform certain lifts and before you know it, they are owning that strength outside of the weight room. They are speaking up at their jobs, changing careers, leaving relationships that aren't working for them, and finding the courage to take ownership of their lives in a myriad of ways. 

What do you like best about coaching and training? 

See the answer above. I LOVE watching women surprise themselves with their own strength. Women are stronger than they know and watching them discover that physical strength is such a privilege, and one that I don't take lightly. 

What do you like least about coaching and training?  

As a very high empath and an introvert, my greatest struggle in coaching is managing my energy. Empath's feel what other people are feeling and when you interact with 20 or more people in a day you can find yourself wearing a lot of other people's feelings. As an introvert, talking and engaging people for several hours everyday also drains my energy, leaving very little in the tank for my friends and family. 

 For me, coaching has been a constant challenge in managing my energy and maintaining some type of balance in my life. 

Is there a success story you can share to inspire the readers? 

My favorite story actually has nothing to do with weight loss. This client set out, like many do, to lose weight. So every month we would sit down and talk about nutrition and set SMART goals and every month she would come up short. Finally, the conversation shifted to not losing weight, but to learning to love herself for who she already was. She decided to find a therapist and spend a lot of time doing the inner work that is so hard to do. 

Several years later, she has become a nutrition coach and a life coach. I love that I had the opportunity to watch her find her true purpose, which was coaching. And I've seen many other women walk a similar path - they set out to lose weight but end up gaining confidence. 

This question may seem off topic, but the title of this blog is Words from the Heart. What words of wisdom have you been given and by whom?

One of the greatest influences in my life was a priest I knew in college. I only knew him for a few years before he died of cancer during my junior year - but he was the first person in my life that I felt really saw me for who I was and took a genuine interest in me. I mentioned above that it took me quite awhile to find my purpose and that struggle took up most of my mental space back then. Father Drexler eventually became my spiritual director as I worried about finding a major and meaning in my life. One day I trusted him to read some of the inner thoughts and writings about my purpose and meaning. He gave my writings back to me and attached the following quote by Rainer Maria Rilke: 

"I want to beg you, as much as I can, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer." 

I'm only sad that Father Drexler didn't live long enough for me to tell him that he was right. 

Is there anything else you would like to share? 

I guess my parting thought is this - don't wait. Don't wait to take the first step in whatever it is your heart is calling you to do. We all have something beautiful to give to this world. Start where you are. And be strong, and kind to yourself in the process. 

 

Visit Kim's Website at:  https://www.kimlloydfitness.com/

Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/kimlloydfitness/